So while I thought my last post was pretty clear, there are a few of you who are a little confused. I guess that I made it too long for some of you to actually comprehend. So let’s just get right to the thick of it, shall wel?
I don’t hate kids, or people with kids, or pregnant mothers and the bumbling guys who are trying to decide whether their little fetus should be listening to Metallica or CKY (answer: both).
Again, I thought I made that part pretty clear. I like that people are having kids. It means two things: 1) I can play with babies and then give them back to their parents as soon as they shit themselves because GODDAMMIT why can’t they hold it in like the rest of us? I don’t get the crap myself randomly. I tried it. Trust me, the owners of that Burger King were not amused. What are we talking about again? Oh yeah. And 2) without people having kids, who the hell am I going to hit on when I’m in my cougar-y prime and loaded at the local pub on wine spritzers? Somebody’s son (or daughter, I’m not picky). And I like all my friends that are parents, or soon-to-be-parents because apparently there was nothing to do between August and now except put in a horny movie and have sex until somebody gets knocked up. If I didn’t like you guys, I’d delete you all from Twitter and Facebook and shove the ones who can’t use a computer in a giant hole because really, it’s 2011 and this shit is important.
Stop assuming that just because I have an aversion to popping out a couple of kids myself that I somehow have a raging hate-on for every parent on the face of the planet. You know how you guys are always telling me that you could never do what I do in my life, including being a RN and spending my shifts up to my elbows in shit, piss, and blood? Same deal. You can’t imagine doing my job, and I sure as hell can’t imagine doing yours.
And again, if you continue to feel that I’m still attacking parents and kids, then I can’t help you. I was going to draw a little cartoon for this post, but I decided some of you would get offended and then the hatemail would start. If you do feel that you need drawings and hand gestures to walk you through the above comments, feel free to leave me a comment and I’ll do my best to accomodate you in the future.
